Thursday, September 5, 2013

It's Only Paint. Not.

*Warning. Griping ahead.

I watch a good deal of HGTV, and I've noticed that realtors really love to say, "It's only cosmetic changes. Just paint. It's an easy fix." Their buyers smile and nod and smile like dummies at the surrounding 3,000 square feet smattered in country blue and mauve trim (in oil paint no less). I want to throw something at the tv and yell, "Stop smiling! It will take years! YEARS I TELL YOU!"

When we bought this house I was just like those people on tv. The entire top floor was (is) covered in fleshy beige and pine green paint with beige oil based trim. I thought to myself, "That will take a while, like maybe six months. But it will look great when it's done!"

Here we are, over six months later, and I laugh at my former, naive self.

I still submit that it will look great, when it's done, in 20 years or so. I blame blogs like Young House Love. Each week they have a brand spanking new paint project completed, or a deck, or a new door. I think to myself, "What is wrong with us? We're so lazy! Why isn't this painting thing going faster?"

 I forget that they are full time bloggers. I forget that they're not coming home from work, feeding the kid, playing with the kid, fighting with the kid over bedtime, putting kid to bed, going back in and singing to the kid, laying down on the floor and softly crying "I used to be a fun person" and then staying up until midnight with a paintbrush in hand and then heading to work the next morning.

See? I told you it was a gripe fest.

I love my sweet baby and wouldn't change a thing.

But painting. Whew.

It's a beast.

Ah. Now I feel better.

Sometimes you just gotta belch these frustrations out. Then those around you frown, and are suddenly frustrated, and say, "Yeah! Me too! We've been trying to lay flooring in the guest bath for two years!" But you've moved on by then. You feel purged and light as air. And then you say, "Geeze, what's wrong with you guys? You're so negative all of a sudden. Let's go get some ice cream."

I vowed that I wouldn't decorate anything until we had painted every room. But I caved. We're still living in our forest green bedroom. Egads I loathe this color. It's like a mallard duck's tomb in there. Nevertheless, I grabbed a hammer and nails and hung all our family pictures in one spot. I'm hoping it makes up for the fact that we don't have a headboard. And even though we're still in painting purgatory, I can see a light at the end of the long, beige trimmed tunnel.

Go ahead. Get your decor gripes out today.

Then go buy a pumpkin spice latte.

You'll feel better, I promise.

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